On the one hand, marriage in the modern world is much larger, luxurious and attractive compared with traditional marriage.
So is the reason for the wedding itself. You no longer married because it was told to the parents, because the male partner is the rich, or because the female partner came from prominent families.
today, most people decide to get married because of the feeling of love. Unless, you’ve never heard of that marriage in the modern world can be very difficult.
Is it true? How can?
In an interview conducted by Ramith Sethi, a bestselling author and Esther Perel, a therapist pair, sharing knowledge why a wedding can be very difficult.
“Actually married on the grounds attracted and fall in love with someone is an idea that has recently emerged. People come with romance since 150 years ago, but never made love and passion as the foundation for a wedding,” said Ramith at the beginning of the interview ,
“While the traditional wedding, people want more friendships, family life, social status, respect, and support the economy,” added Esther.
However, that does not mean romance disappear completely from the modern wedding, most people simply add more requirements.
She added that the love and passion is now compounded by the demands expertise in sexual intercourse.
In essence, the more you expect your partner can meet all the needs of your life, will be the more room for disappointment.
Esther opinion is corroborated by a recent study conducted by a psychologist named Eli Finkel. He found that the expectations in marriage in the modern world has changed drastically since the last two centuries or more.
Jessica Orwig as the author of Business Insider also reported that prior to 1850, people got married for the manufacture of food, shelter and seek protection from violence.
Starting in the mid 19th century, somehow, people have begun to get married for companionship and love.
Since 1965, people see marriage as an option and a couple looking to meet personal needs. This means that a good marriage is where couples can meet existential needs of each very large. Meanwhile, when the couple can not meet it, marriage is categorized as very unsatisfactory.
What is the solution of this problem?
The solution is not to go back to the model of a traditional wedding, where you let parents set your partner based on social economic status.
In addition, you should also see a wedding outside of personal fulfillment. If you are just looking for it, then friends and hobbies you can do it.
You and your spouse can each be grateful to have each other and look back on what can be used from each to develop.
No marriage is perfect, but in anticipation of crucial issues may help you in the future.